Blah!!!!!!!

Aug. 17, 2005

My poor baby boy we just found out has cancer. He's got a tumor on his leg and he's having surgery tomorrow to remove it. On the good side of it though, the vet says that he should be just fine because it looks like a grade two and not three which can be completely taken out by surgery, but I'm still praying for the best.

As school creeps closer I'm getting more excited at one end but on the other I'm still feeling a bit left out with everyone else moving into dorms and me staying here, but that's ok. I am pretty happy here reguardless. I'm just worried that I won't "grow up" like everyone else. Does that make sense? Because of my feeling insecure, and I know this won't do anything except make me feel better maybe, I am rearranging my room. I've bought a desk to put in it, a phone, a computer with a printer, a new alarm clock, a new lamp, and a mini lava lamp. This is just the start of my redecorating my room and attempting to turn it into a more of a dorm room like experience. I've talked to my parents and they know that I now need more freedom like my other friends in order to grow up, and because I'm working hopefully this shouldn't be a problematic request. Anyways, dinner is almost ready so I'm going to stop writing and just blah... Yep, blah! Can you tell that I have some serious mixed feelings here?

Oh yeah, one more thing. My mom talked to me today about kids. She wants me to have 2 of my own children and adopt one! First of all, I only want 2 children, and second of all, with my past I doubt I'll be able to have any of my own at all. It's something I really want, but the more I think about it the more comfortable I feel with just adopting, or at least that's how it feels some days. I'll keep this up to date on that decision too. Anyways, adios amigas!